Brave

brave brāv/ adjective ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.

 So, last weekend our worship pastor, Leslie Rich asked me if I had heard the song, "You Make Me Brave". I said yes and she said, "I want you to lead it next Sunday". I looked at her stunned and asked "if she was sure" and she said "yes", You're going to lead it". With some hesitation I said "ok".

 My hesitation was not because the song is a difficult song to sing, (although some of the notes are a bit tricky) my hesitation was in the song itself. Have you ever listened to a song and you knew it was going to be epic? Like life changing, come to Jesus epic? That's how I felt about this song and the fact that I was asked to introduce it to our church felt weighty and important. My hesitation was also in the fact that I am a fearful person. My greatest struggle in life has always been fear.

As a child and even in my teenage years I slept with a night light. Yes, I know, embarrassing but true. As a young adult I was fearful of traveling. I would sob every time I had to fly. During take off I was a mess, (Those poor people sitting next to me). At different times in my life I knew fear was lurking around ready to jump back in and play it's part. So how could I stand on a stage in front of hundreds declaring bravery? I knew I would be seen as a fake but I already said yes to Leslie and I couldn't back out now.

 For the next week I began listening and singing the song over and over. And with each time, it was like something on the inside was screaming out "you are brave"! He has made you brave!! Believe it! Declare it, for those who are living in fear and can't be brave yet.

 So, yesterday on a stage in front of lots of people I led the song "You Make Me Brave"

 With each word I was declaring bravery for the young child who hates bed time because of fear of the dark. The child who lives in fear almost constantly... He has made you brave!

 I sang for the widow like my mom. Who is now facing life alone without my dad. Making decisions without her partner in life... He has made you brave!

 I sang for the person diagnosed with a sickness. Whether you are just starting your journey, are in the middle fighting or at the end like me, facing only two more checkups to be officially cancer free... He has made you brave!

 I sang for the person facing an unknown future. Be it a new job, the loss of a job, a new calling, new children, or big dreams... He has made you brave!

 I was right, this song is a life changing, epic song. My life is changed by stepping out and leading it. I can't say that I will never fear anything again. I mean, let's get real, life can be crazy and scary but my hope now is that in Him, I can face anything. I can be brave!


You make me brave

 I stand before You now
The greatness of your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you
King of Heaven, in humility, I bow

As Your love, in wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us You are not against us
Champion of Heaven You made a way for all to enter in

 I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore Into Your grace
Into Your grace

You make me brave You make me brave
 You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way

You make me brave You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc

My New Goal!!!!

Ok, so here's an update on where I am now. I finished both weight loss programs about a month ago and have taken a little break. My first competition was with the Weigh and Pray group. This is where I had the opportunity to win $5000. Well, I came in 4th place. No money, but I lost over 35lbs in 12 weeks. I really wanted the money, but losing that much weight was totally worth it. The other competition I was in was The Biggest Loser competition at my church. And...I won!!! I was totally shocked. I worked really hard an won $500 for Jeanne Jester, a missionary in South Africa and $500 for zoe, our college ministry at church. It felt good to win and felt even better knowing that I was done with my competitions, so like I said, I took a little break. I have continued to crossfit but I stopped eating strict paleo. Surprisingly, I have only gained 5-6lbs back, but I still have about 20 left to lose, so now I am setting a few new goals.

1. I want to do a pull-up in crossfit!!! I have been a crossfitter for a while and have not yet graduated from the ring rows to the pull-up bar. I know those of you who are BA crossfitters are like, "what's the big deal"? but doing a pull-up seems almost impossible. I know losing weight will help but I need to lose more and get my strength and technique right. I am giving myself to the end of the year to get a pull-up and be able to do them in a work-out. I promise to keep you updated on my progress.

2. Lose those last 20lbs and look amazing in my swimsuit for vacation. Randall and I are going to Mexico in August with Jason and Vanessa (our BFF's) to celebrate Jason's birthday and I am determined to look my best in my swimsuit. I'm not looking for Sports Illustrated status, I just want to feel great on the beach.

3. Make Paleo eating a real lifestyle. I started Paleo at the beginning of my weight loss competitions and felt great. For the last month, I have added some sugar and bread back into my diet and man can I feel it. Just this last Saturday at Yoga, I felt horrible and it's because I have been eating those things. When I first started I was so strict so now I want to make it last. Sounds easy, but I love me some bread!!! :)

So, here are a few of my new goals. Say a prayer and wish me luck!!!

Jesus, Crossfit and Hair Dye!

I was having a conversation with my best friend and we were talking about hair color and how great you feel when your hair looks good. As our conversation progressed for some reason I said, "yeah, Jesus, Crossfit, and Hair dye. That's all you need for a good life." As I began to ponder that statement, I thought about how those 3 things define parts of who I am.

I am a blonde. I always have been, however, in my later years my hair just kept getting lighter and lighter. Now I have platinum blonde hair. I remember when I first went platinum. We went on a cruise and I remember my family saying it was really easy to pick me out of the crowd. It was like my hair was glowing. :) I also think back to my trips to India. We always go to a school in the slums and I usually get placed in the 2 year old class. It is one of my favorite things, until I make all the kids cry. We are some of the first ever white people that these kids have seen and me with my blonde hair scares some of them. Last time I was greeting the kids as they came up the stairs but they all started crying so I had to hide around the corner. It was great! My hair is part of my identity and I wouldn't change it.

And then there's crossfit! I have been a crossfitter for several years, but until I started this weight loss competition, I didn't give it my all. But that has all changed. If you hang around me for too long, I will eventually talk about crossfit. I LOVE it!!! When I began this journey, I knew crossfit would work. So, I embraced all that crossfit had to offer. I push myself in every WOD. I eat paleo and it has worked. I have lost 34 lbs so far. I am stronger mentally and physically. I never thought I could push myself so hard and get so far. So, anytime I can talk about crossfit, I will!!! I think it is the best workout out there. I am a believer for life and I look forward to the challenge that crossfit will offer me as I continue my fitness and health journey.

Last but not least is Jesus. I have been a christian pretty much all my life and I am so grateful. I am grateful for my Christian heritage. Without it, I don't know where I would be. I am thankful for Jesus and his sacrifice allowing me to have an amazing life. I am blessed more than I deserve. I have seen grace and mercy in my life numerous times and it is all because of Jesus. I'm so thankful that He loves me.

So, there it is. Jesus, crossfit, and hair dye. 3 very different things but all 3 such a part of who I am.

Also, I am in my last week of the weight loss competition. I'll let you know next week how it goes!

Here's to being who you are and loving it all!

Half Way Point

Well, we are now 6 weeks into the weight loss competition and I have lost 19 lbs!!!! That is crazy to me. I can't believe I have lost so much. I still have a ways to go but I feel great. I have worked so hard for this but it has been totally worth it.

So far I have learned so much about myself. I am stronger than I thought. For me this has been so much about getting my mind in the right place. It is amazing how powerful the mind can be. Last Friday our crossfit workout was 100 burpee box jumps. When I saw it on the board, I wanted to walk out and go home. Both burpees and box jumps are really hard for me. If ever they are part of the WOD, I know I have to really gear up for them. During our warm up I determined that I would try for 30 burpee box jumps. We only had 15 mins to get 100, so I figured 30 was a doable number. Here's where I went wrong. In my mind I had a number that I was comfortable with. As we started the workout, I got through 30 faster than I thought. There was plenty of time left but I had reached my goal. In my mind I was done and can I tell you that is the worst thing to feel during a workout. I had to keep going and you know what? I got 53 burpee box jumps. 53!!! Think of how many I could have finished if I had determined that I was going to get 100. I know that I'm not at the point where I could have gotten all 100 in 15 mins, but what if I would have kept an open mind? What if I had not put limits on what I could do? What then?

Throughout the weekend, I was reminded of my Friday workout and the lesson it taught me. My mind is powerful and I have decided to fill it with positivity. I don't want to put limits on my life. I can accomplish so much if I have the right mind set and not just in my workouts. In all areas of my life. If my mind is in the right place, I can do great things.

Let me leave you with this scripture. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Here's to a great week!

Stress, it makes ya do crazy things.

Today was a pretty good ending to one of the most stressful weeks I've had in a long time. It began Monday with Randall, my husband having shoulder surgery. I've had surgery before and that's way easier than waiting for someone in surgery. The waiting was so hard. I'm a stress eater and it was hard not to eat everything around me. But I stood strong and did not give in to the vending machines of chips, cookies, and candy. I am so thankful for my mother in law coming into town to help with the recovery. I was able to keep working out this week and that saved me. It helped so much with the stress and not getting too worked up.
I was doing pretty good until today's weigh in. I was so stressed that I gained this week and all that stress caused a crazy rant as I got up to weigh. I said things like murder and hating being a girl. What was I thinking?! Anyway, I think I really scared my weigh n pray friends, so now I'll be know as the crazy rant girl. hahaha Oh well, to my surprise, I lost 1.6 lbs. For this week, I will take it. I would have taken anything but gaining.
I am so glad this week is almost over and tomorrow begins a new week. With a new week, I have new opportunities to work hard, eat well, and try not stress out too much. So here's to a new week. I hope it's a good one!!!

Community...it's not just a funny show on t.v.

So today was the 2nd weigh in, and I lost 8lbs!! 8 pounds in one week? That is crazy. I don't think I have ever lost that much in a month much less in one week. That's biggest loser style. :)

But as my title suggests it was not done without my community. I have the most amazing community helping me reach my goals. First are my best friends Jason and Vanessa Brandiger. They are both crossfit coaches and have been kickin my butt this week. Vanessa did 2 workouts with me AND is eating the paleo way with me. She is supporting me like the amazing best friend she is!!!! Thanks Brandigers!!!! You guys are the best support team EVER!!!!
Next is my husband Randall, he is also a crossfit coach and has been the best support during my workouts. So encouraging and pushing me to do a better job. He also cooked a meal for me. I love this man so much and all that he has done for me in my quest.
I can't forget my crossfit community. The coaches keep pushing me to get the most out of my workout and those in my class, they challenge me to work harder every time we work out. Thanks guys!!!
And my weigh and pray ladies gave so much encouragement this week. It's great to have this group of ladies support, even though we are competing, we stil give encouraging words to one another. This group of ladies are going to be the most successful group ever and not just during the competition, we are changing our lives for the better, forever!!
And last but least are my friends and family who have sent texts and phone calls with encouragement this week. You guys are wonderful.

As you can see, I cannot do this without a support system. I encourage you, if you want to start a weight loss program, get a friend or better yet, a team to help you. You WILL be successful.

Until next week, make good choices and stay healthy!!

Today's the day!!!

Well today was the first weigh in for the weigh and pray competition. It was wonderful. All 30 ladies bravely weighed in and had their weight announced. The best thing was that everyone said they wanted to lose the weight in a healthy way. In the past those involved in wnp, did the crazy quick weight lost diets and several are back for this season. So, the rule for this season is you must do it in a healthy way. No crazy diets!!

As for me, I was so nervous today. My hands were shaking as I got up to weigh. I'm not sure why, but I had butterflies. As I write this, I still have butterflies. I want to be successful and of course win :) but I am a little scared of failure. So, I'm going to try to use this anxiety in a positive way. I really do want to win but more than that, I just want to lose weight and get healthy. I had Randall take before pictures of me in a sports bra and shorts. Oh My goodness!!!!!!! I was shocked. I mean, I see myself naked everyday, but it is different when you see it in a picture. Let me just say, if you have a weight problem and want some motivation, take a picture of yourself. Yikes.

I guess it's off to bed. My 6am crossfit class is going to be here before I know it.

Here's to health and a new start.